Robes
by Prankoholic
Summary: Song parodies from Scrubs episode My Musical, Guy Love and I'm Dominican. Decided to change the name now there are two filks here. And Remus is NOT a vegetarian!
1. Chapter 1

_Tune: Guy Love, from Scrubs episode My Musical, season 6.  
Sirius and Remus have a message for the shippers._

Sirius:´  
Let's face the facts about me and you  
A friendship undenied  
'Though I insist we are only mates  
The fangirls keep on their debates

Remus:  
No matter just what I say or do  
Prove them wrong many years I've tried  
'Cause this mate was made not to seem straight  
To those girls who have robbed me my pride

Both:  
They all think it's guy love, that's what they see  
Guy love, with him and me  
There's something gay about us in their eyes

Remus:  
They write about this thing we share  
Sirius:  
And our closeness has a price  
Remus:  
It's guy love  
Both:  
Between two guys

Remus:  
We're closer than the average ass to a thigh  
Sirius:  
We never want a snogfest beneath a marquee  
Remus:  
You know I'll stand by you 'til the day that I die  
Sirius:  
You're the only man who's ever been inside of me

Remus (spoken):  
Funny story, I was half an inch tall and trapped within a chocolate frog

Sirius:  
There's a need to clarify  
Remus:  
Oh yes  
Sirius:  
'Cause he was never my lover slave  
I'd never sniff someone's rear end  
Remus:  
Let alone go explore his "cave"

Both:  
Let's go  
No guy love  
Don't scandalize  
The bond between two hetero guys  
We're very into sport, and never cry

Sirius:  
I'll be there to share your every day  
Remus:  
I'll be far away at nights  
Uh!  
Both:  
No guy love  
Between two guys

Sirius:  
And when I say 'Yo wotcher, Moon?'  
There is nothing it implies  
Both:  
No guy love  
Between two guys

_Hug._

_(A/N: I'm thinking of writing a parody of the whole episode, so if you haven't seen it, chop chop!!)_


	2. Chapter 2

_(A/N: A reocurring thing in my fics is that Sirius keeps thinking Remus is vegetarian when he's not. And now he's a bit pissed off)_

_Tune: I'm Dominican _

**Remus:**  
I've had it up to here  
So let me make it very clear  
I swear I zapp you into a planarian  
Everytime that you profess  
That carrots is my favourite-  
**Sirius:** Yes?  
**Remus: **For the last time, NOT vegetarian!

**Sirius:**  
Don't overstrain your pipe  
You just simply seem the type  
**Remus:** Is that why you tell everyone I snog librarians?  
**Sirius**  
Why don't you also rant with Pongs?  
See, he also got it wrong  
There's no need to unleash your inner barbarian

**Remus:**  
Oh, let's hear  
Try get some facts right  
**Sirius:**  
Ok  
You are a prefect  
**Remus:** Impressive  
**Sirius:**  
You like to read, your rabbit's dead  
And, wait I got it! Four sisters!  
**Remus:** No  
**Sirius:** Twin sister?  
Well I'm sure you have a hot affair with Dumbledore

**Remus:** Tell me, what's my middle name?  
**Sirius:**  
Admit you lost this silly game  
Because I know for sure your name is actually Marianne  
But it's not just me who make things up  
You don't exactly seem so tough  
**James:**  
Sorry, I know he's not vegetarian  
Boo-ya!

**Remus:**  
Answer this if you don't want a pack of Abraxans  
Chase you on the way that leads to Azkaban  
Do I like blood and flesh much less than raisin bran?  
You still think I'm a fricken vegetarian?

**Sirius:**  
The thing is Blacks sometimes get bored  
And so I told all those I know you make your potpurri  
So let us stop this silly war  
I say both of us should just agree to disagree

**Remus:** Well thank you for that glimps in to the workings of a pureblood man  
**Sirius:** Let's talk about our pranks, forget I thought you're-  
**Remus:** Vegetarian  
**Sirius:** It is girly to stay mad  
**Remus:** Can't you see I'm happy, Pads?  
**Sirius:** I'll set things straight by saying you're not really Belgian  
**Remus:**  
I got some homeworks from today  
Or is that unmanly, say?**  
Sirius:**  
I say no, and you're not vegetarian  
But veterinarian  
**Remus:**-Groan-  
**Sirius:** But you're none of them

_(A/N: Oh, and I like the idea of Remus having a twin sister. Actually I'm thinking of having Remus be vegetarian anyway. He really does seem the type. But he wasn't at this point)_


End file.
